Lately I've been asking myself many things. Mostly things about my life now that I am almost certain of where I would be 10, 15 years or more from now.
Retired in the same place where I started. Perhaps in the dust. Alone. Definitely!
I asked why is there a need for someone, for anyone, to get married, become a parent and deal with spouse, kids, family, not enough toilet-paper, never-ending bills, legal issues...when living alone is a lot easier, more convenient, less worries, less bills, less hyper-tensions...but more toilet-paper to use. :-)
I know family brings happiness to us most of the time but sometimes I wonder if they are all worth the troubles that came along with.
I also know it feels good having someone in your life you can count when needing a shoulder to cry on, or perhaps just to tell each other stories with, make passionate love and waking up in the morning sharing a good brewed coffee now and then. However, is it really necessary to sign a contract so to speak and have them around every minute of our 'effin' day and night?
Are we all afraid to grow old and die alone hence even at the very young age we're all thinking, dreaming, hoping, wishing, making it a mission, determined to get married and have a family of our own? What exactly does having one proves? Is there really a point in all these?
I could understand having someone in life, a spouse or a partner, if that's what you call it nowadays, by our side as we grow old and needy....but kids? We all know they won't be around for long because they will have their own life to live sooner or later, and deal with the same issues I mentioned above. Will the circle of life stops?
Don't get me wrong. I am happy with my life now. The question that I have is, will I NOT be happy if my wife and daughter does not exist in my life, by my side...at all? Could I be happier if they are not around?
I'm just asking. Am I being selfish?
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12 comments:
not selfish, you're just asking really... of course you know as well that in this lifetime, you'll never ever know the answer to your question ;-)
Here's an apt song: Do you Realize, one of my faves now...from "The Flaming Lips,"
Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize - we're floating in space -
Do You Realize - that happiness makes you cry
Do You Realize - that everyone you know someday will die
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round
getting married having kids make our lives more meaningful I guess. or more challenging for some. depending on which side of the bed you wake up in the morning. if you catch my drift. hehehe
jewel, it was a hypothetical question that has hypothetical answer. you are right!
xandy, i'm not familiar with that song. now i need to hear it.
drifter, good answer. Kids are only fun, cute and all before they turn 13. After that, mostly downhill in Fun Dept. Just more headaches. Can't wait for them to leave the house. haha
ang mga anak daw ay kayamanan kaya kung sino ang mahihirap syang maraming anak :-)
It's always a Fun Dep. on our side, 'til they left us at the age of 18 & 16. Wish they just be with us, but can't hold them back to pursue their dreams.... miss our kids so much...
if you now have a qualifying word (read: disclaimer - hehehe) - "hypothetical" - then of course, there's an answer ;-)
I miss making passionate love...
You create your own destiny. Life is a very hard thing to keep when your life does not always go the way you plan. Fight for your life and the right to keep dreaming. As you get older, your life becomes a challenge. Who are you? What do you want in life? What will you be? What is your purpose in life? If you worry, these things will turn into burdens. But if you hold on to them in the back of your mind, all of the answers will come in time. Life is a carousel, always going forward never going back. Look to the future not to the past.
...Rain
Rain, where were you when we needed you most? It's been hot here lately and you could come in handy.
Our life is just like going in circles, you will never know which side it will turn at any given time. However, staying at the right course does help but does not guarantee the results that you maybe looking for.
As for me I just go with the flow and I welcome each day and every time like a good adventure at every turn.
Friend, meditate on this...
Life is not about finding the right person but creating the right relationship. It's not how we care in the beginning but how much we care till ending.
Remember...you are the architect of your life.
...Rain
Not selfish at all. Everyone has these thoughts, at least i know I do. My 6 brothers and sisters all have children and are constantly asking me when I am going to add to the bunch. But would I be happy with children or would I even be a good parent? Everyone has questions that will always be just that, a question. There's nothing wrong with pretending you have another life, especially when you're happy with the life you currently have.
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